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| Chapter 40 | Book 5 • Chapter 41 | Chapter 42 |
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The Beach
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I'm the only one here. Why don't you give it a try? Let it all out at the top of your lungs. It'll make you feel way better! |
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Well... All right. *Inhale* You think Ah kin turn all darlin' overnight? Are you outta yer apple-pickin' mind?! |
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?! |
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Ah'm a farm boy from the sticks! We got more heifers'n we do people out in our part of the country! It's all Ah kin do ta talk without slippin' inta mah accent! Ah ain't never danced afore, other'n hoedowns an' field day games! How'm Ah s'posed ta know the first thing about dressin' all trendy or actin' all classy?! Ah ain't never wanted ta be no darlin' anyhow! If Ah had mah druthers, Ah'd be a big an' tough an' strong man! YER A BIG OL' IDJIT, Y'HEAR?! *Huff* *Huff* Ahhh! That felt mighty good! |
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I barely understood like...half of that. What language was that? Wait, was that just your natural accent?! Epel, where are you from? |
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Oh, Ah'm from Harveston. It's way off in the mountains in the north part of the Shaftlands. Vil says not to talk much around people on account o' mah accent bein' hard ta understand. Every time Ah open mah mouth, Vil gets on mah case. "Don't speak with an accent. Address people by name. Mind your volume." Drives me nuts, Ah tell you what! |
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I always had you pegged as a quiet, timid guy since the day we met... But boy, was I ever wrong. Hah hah. |
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Ah had to be careful when Ah spoke. Never knew when Vil was gonna be there to call mah accent out. An' those frilly uniform shirts Ah wear? Those ain't mah first choice, that's fer sure. Housewarden's orders. |
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Wait, housewarden's orders? Really? Your dorm doesn't have some crazy set of rules like Heartslabyul. Why is this a thing? |
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Well, lemme tell you 'bout mah orientation back in September... |
FLASHBACK START
Mirror Chamber
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(Everywhere Ah look, it's all the same—buncha highfalutin' rich boys too big fer their britches.) (Ah know how Ah look. Ah'm used ta gettin' treated like Ah'm some kinda wuss back home.) ('Course, back home Ah gave a whoopin' ta anyone who said it ta mah face.) (Gotta make sure Ah don't take any guff here, too.) |
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You there. The new enrollee. |
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Huh? Y'want somethin'? |
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Are you trying to make a mockery of the ceremonial orientation robes? Button up your collar at once. |
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(Is this the Pomefiore housewarden?) (Ah sure don't want no part of a dorm run by a prim 'n proper gent like this.) (This beanpole ain't nothin' compared ta the Savanaclaw housewarden.) |
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Hm. I wasn't sure how to appraise you at a distance... But upon closer inspection, I must say, you've quite the winsome facade. |
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Win-what? You callin' me a wuss? Well, if Ah'm a pot, yer a kettle! |
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Oh, dear. Dear oh dear. You are utterly unpresentable. |
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Scuse me? |
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The way you dress, the way you act... Even the way you think is utterly devoid of any sensibility. |
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Oh yeah?! Yer gonna regret sayin' that in a few seconds! Let's take this outside! |
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Interior Hallway
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Gah...! Tarnation! He ain't even usin' magic, and he wiped the floor with me... |
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Here's a lesson for you, little spudling: in this school, the rule is that the weak obey the strong. From what I can tell, you haven't been assigned to a dorm yet. Regardless, since you lost, you will do as I say. |
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C-consarnit... (What's he gonna do ta me?! Take all mah money? Make me his errand boy?) |
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Your first order of business is to button up every loose button on your robes. |
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...Huh? |
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NOW. Next, your belt. You have no business letting it hang low and loose from your waist, especially considering your diminutive stature. Such disgraceful form is utterly unacceptable! |
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Agh! A-ah kin barely breathe in this now! |
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And your hair! Have you even considered combing that rat's nest out? |
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It ain't like Ah carry a comb wherever Ah go! |
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Lastly, your elocution! Speak properly. |
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Whuh?! Are you sayin' mah accent ain't as good as how city folk talk?! |
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Stop misinterpreting my instructions. I have nothing against your home or its dialect. What I object to is your attitude. Being proud of your home is all well and good, but there is a time and a place for that. The way you address your superiors is entirely unacceptable. |
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Grrr... |
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In this school, losers have no right to whine or complain. If you want to voice a grievance, you'll have to beat me in a fight first. Now, what is the correct response? |
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Gh... Yes, sir. |
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Hmph. Only the Dark Mirror itself knows which dorm you'll be assigned to. But pray that you don't get assigned to Pomefiore. For I am Vil Schoenheit, its housewarden. If you come under my domain... I will tolerate none of the behavior you exhibited today. Remember that. Now fix up your clothes as I instructed and get back to orientation. |
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D-dagnabbit... |
FLASHBACK END
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| Chapter 40 | Book 5 • Chapter 41 | Chapter 42 |
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